A baby, a book, a sketchbook: October
What was New in October?
October was a day to day learning and unlearning process. I did not manage to get a daily sketchbook practice together, in fact I barely managed anything daily (other than perhaps a daily walk with Cici). We spent our first weekend away from the house over Thanksgiving and although it was lovely spending time with family, I learned I really appreciate, and need, our routine and set up at home. Nothing beats waking up in the middle of the night and knowing exactly where you keep your midnight breastfeeding snacks!
We did manage to make it to a Mommy Meet Up event… sort of. Something I’ve been trying to do with Cici is get out there and meet moms in our neighbourhood. We joined a Hiking Moms meetup group and the goal for October was to make it to the High Park Halloween Hike and Dance.
I also cobbled together a costume for Cici, myself and Dan, although it was a bit of a struggle finding the time to actually work on it! As you could see, I had to resort to wearing baby in order to get a couple hours of uninterrupted craft time!
We made it to the park and meet up, but didn’t quite make it on the hike as Cici needed a feeding right as everyone was ready to leave. Oh well.
Cici was a scarecrow! And we, of course, were her two crows.
What’s New in Illustration?
I have been wanting to colour render the mock middle grade covers I started almost a year ago. I managed to add colour to two of the covers, as well as get some sketches and an outline together for another potential mock middle grade cover.
This outline below was inspired by the Cursed Relics drawing challenge, which included the prompts sword, chimera and wings. Can you spot all three prompts in the drawing?
What did I Read?
In October I continued with fantasy. The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.H. Schwab was an enjoyable listen that focused predominantly on character, with a subtle plot that unraveled slowly. Because it was mostly character driven, I found the heart of the novel to be more a pondering of immortality and the human drive to leave a lasting mark. I often think about my own mortality. As an artist and illustrator, I believe part of my drive to create is to leave a body of work as a link to my memory.
Addie LeRue is cursed with immortality, but she cannot engage with humanity in any real way. People forget her. She can’t leave a physical mark. She can only inspire the people she briefly interacts with, nudging little ideas for new songs or paintings. Stuck with this curse, she merely exists, her stubborn refusal to give up her soul to the Darkness that cursed her a driving motivation. The Darkness starts as an abstract plot device and then grows into a character of his own. Their cat and mouse game provides some of the twists in the story that makes for a dynamic relationship between them.
Overall, it was an interesting listen, with solemn undertones that really makes you think about your own lasting impression on the world.
The Wicked King and The Queen of Nothing by Holly Black were two other audiobooks I enjoyed this month. The continuing series from A Cruel Prince, these are very plot driven, with twists and turns, and a main character that is very gray–which I enjoyed. I must say, it’s refreshing when a character has very obvious flaws. In this case, Jude Duarte is power hungry. This need for control and power often conflicts with her growing love for our main male lead: Carden Greenbrier. They have a very enemies to lovers relationship… on one side. It’s not always clear what decisions Jude will make when forced into a corner. Will she perform a typically “heroic” act, or will she lead with her interests first?
Jude is gritty, she gets messy, she has a lot of autonomy, and overall a very enjoyable character to root for. What’s more, Jude’s story is more than her relationship with Carden. It’s about the conflicting emotions she feels for her foster father, who both killed her parents and raised her. It’s about her consistent love for her siblings, and her desire to become someone strong. It’s about her motivations and her mistakes. Holly Black knows how to create complex characters, and her world mythology is also incredibly thought out and fascinating.
I finished The Queen of Nothing and immediately rented the next book set in this world from my library.
Something I learned about Life
Giving grace to yourself is hard, and a constant conscious effort. I am often hard on myself, and in some ways I see this as a positive.
Growth comes from effort (and a little bit of discomfort) and when I push myself I often move forward in some way. Whether it’s self-reflection work with my therapist, or challenging myself to tackle new illustration styles or mediums. I’ve accepted positions I wasn’t sure I was entirely qualified for, and then worked hard to prove to myself that I deserved being hired. I’ve become more skilled, discovered new facets of myself (of which I’ve both liked and disliked), strengthened relationships, and more. Yet, when it comes to raising a child (and a baby at that) being hard on myself has become a source of stress.
You have to give yourself grace to fail a little, to not always know the correct way forward, to allow yourself a moment to cry when life gets overwhelming. And now when I look back at my past, I should have given myself grace for other aspects of my life as well. I should’ve been more proud of my successes at work instead of bemoaning the ways in which I believed I failed to meet a goal. And with my illustration goals as well; I have yet to illustrate my first book project, but I know if I keep putting myself out there (and push past the fear of rejection) this will happen.
Becoming a mom has forced me to try and pat myself on the back just a little more. Otherwise, I’m not sure I’d be able to cope with the increased stress and anxiety of caring for a tiny human. As I’ve been told many times, there’s no ONE manual to raising a child…and there’s no one manual to life either. We can just do our best, and then hug ourselves if things don’t go entirely as planned.
Upcoming Projects
November’s #folkloreweek is coming up, and I know I will not be able to participate each day. However, the list of prompts has inspired me to jot down some ideas for a new mini comic. My goal for November here is to sketch out some rough thumbnails, nothing too crazy.
I’m also planning to finish the next page of my short comic The Fool and the Star, which you can read in its entirety (so far) here. This short comic is coming to a close, and I’m eager to start my next one–which involves cats and memory and grief.
